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Twelve Days Of CHRISTmas: Day Eight
This song is one of my all-time favorite CHRISTmas parodies. Bob Rivers and Twisted CHRISTmas did a song a number of years ago about Santa Claus to the tune of Black Sabbath’s Iron man. It is called, “I am Santa Claus.”
I found a very cool light display set to the song on Youtube, but I noticed that the song was cut short so I found another Youtube video that has the whole song. The first video below has the light display and the second one has the whole song with the lyrics. I like the song so much, I thought it appropriate to post two videos of it.
Here is our updated song;
On the eighth day of CHRISTmas my true love said to me,
“Santa Claus a rockin’!”
“Bob and Doug McKenzie!”(<—click here)
“Lights are a dancing!”(<— click here)
“Ding Fries are done,“(<— click here)
“Twis-ted Christ-mas,“ (<— click here)
“Elf Bowl-ing,” (<—click here)“Go elf yourself,” (<— click here)
And,
“Complain about the holiday theme!”
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbFIt3V5AxQ&rel=]
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ksZpvmHsIs&rel=]
Twelve Days Of CHRISTmas: Day Seven
One of the first CHRISTmas parodies I ever heard was Bob and Doug McKenzie’s, Twelve Days of CHRISTmas. Wikipedia states that, “Bob and Doug McKenzie were a pair of fictional Canadian brothers who hosted “The Great White North”, a sketch which was introduced on SCTV for the show’s third season when it moved to the CBC in 1980. Bob is played by Rick Moranis and Doug is played by Dave Thomas.”
I enjoyed Bob & Doug when I was a teenager and I still enjoy them today. It just wouldn’t be right to have my own parody of the Twelve Days of CHRISTmas and not include them. Our song is now;
On the seventh day of CHRISTmas my true love said to me,
“Bob and Doug McKenzie!”
“Lights are a dancing!”(<— click here)
“Ding Fries are done,“(<— click here)
“Twis-ted Christ-mas,“ (<— click here)
“Elf Bowl-ing,” (<—click here)“Go elf yourself,” (<— click here)
And,
“Complain about the holiday theme!”
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WCXnlFWaIY&rel=]
Twelve Days Of CHRISTmas: Day Six
Day six of our countdown is here. I came across this next video a number of years ago and it continues to amaze me. I can’t imagine how long it took to coordinate the lights to dance to Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s, song “Wizards in Winter.”
Well, actually, now I do know how long it took because I checked out Snopes.com, which is a site dedicated to investigating urban legends. There was a wealth of information there about who did it, how long it took, some history of the lights display and even instructions on how to set up the display yourself.
After you watch the video, I’d like to ask you to do something in the spirit of our first day of CHRISTmas. You will note that there is a message in-between the windows which states, “Happy Holidays.” Mr. Williams, the creator of the light display, has his own web site and supplies us with a way to contact him. I have already written and asked that he replace the greeting “happy holidays” with “Merry CHRISTmas.” I kindly pointed out that these are CHRISTmas lights, on CHRISTmas trees set to CHRISTmas music so it only makes sense to wish people a Merry CHRISTmas.
Please write to him and gently request that he change the display to correctly identify the holiday that he makes reference to. Feel free to pass this request on to any of your friends. If Mr. Williams hears from enough of us, he just may do the right thing.
Our 12 days of CHRISTmas parody is now;
On the sixth day of CHRISTmas my true love said to me,
“Lights are a dancing!”“Ding Fries are done,“(<— click here)
“Twis-ted Christ-mas,“ (<— click here)
“Elf Bowl-ing,” (<—click here)“Go elf yourself,” (<— click here)
And,
“Complain about the holiday theme!”
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TD4g0gmQSLk&rel=]
Twelve Days Of CHRISTmas: Day Five
If you ever get the chance to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, you’ve got to go see them. Becky and I saw them last year and they were great! It was almost like a worship concert set to rock music. One of their most famous songs is CHRISTmas Eve in Sarajevo. If you would like to listen to it, go to the above web site and click on the song.
There is also a parody of CHRISTmas Eve in Sarajevo that is hilarious. Once I put this song in your head, you’ll thank me for days.
Our 12 days of CHRISTmas parody is now;
On the fifth day of CHRISTmas my true love said to me, “Ding Fries are done!”
“Twis-ted Christ-mas“, (<— click here)
“Elf Bowl-ing,” (<—click here)“Go elf yourself,” (<— click here)
And,
“Complain about the holiday theme!”
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFQyib5ZQZY]
Twelve Days Of CHRISTmas: Day Four
We had this one on here last CHRISTmas. The 80’s hair band Twisted Sister put out a CHRISTmas album and had the following video for one of their songs. Now, don’t just discard the video because it is Twisted Sister. It is actually pretty good.
The song is a rock version of Oh, Come All Ye Faithful. The band goes up to the North pole, kid-naps Santa and takes over delivering presents in his sleigh. The final part of the video shows a crowd of people looking up into the sky with outstretched arms singing, “Oh come let us adore Him!” This is a welcome scene in light of today’s anti-CHRISTmas message.
Our song is now;
On the fourth day of CHRISTmas my true love said to me,
Twis-ted Christ-mas,
“Elf Bowl-ing,”“Go elf yourself,” (<— click here)
And,
“Complain about the holiday theme!”
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=giuTdKFvr_s&rel=]
Twelve Days Of CHRISTmas: Day Three
Here is another fun one. The first time I came across this game was a number of years ago. I’ve looked for a flash version of this game, but it only exists as a download. It is a cool little game where the elves go on strike so Santa places them on a bowling lane and bowls them down.
On the third day of CHRISTmas my true love said to me, “Elf Bowl-ing,”
“Go elf yourself,” (<— click here)
And, “Complain about the holiday theme!”
The Twelve Days Of CHRISTmas: Day Two
Today’s entry will be shorter and a lot less serious. A couple of weeks ago I was going through the Sunday paper and came across the Office Max ads. There was a url that told me to “Go elf myself.” I decided to check it out. This is really cute!
On the second day of CHRISTmas my true love said to me,
“Go elf yourself.” (<— click here)And, “Complain about the holiday theme!”
The Twelve Days Of CHRISTmas: Day One
The Twelve Days of Christmas is probably the most misunderstood part of the church year among Christians who are not part of liturgical church traditions. Contrary to much popular belief, these are not the twelve days before Christmas, but in most of the Western Church are the twelve days from Christmas until the eginning of Epiphany (January 6th; the 12 days count from December 25th until January 5th). In some traditions, the first day of Christmas begins on the evening of December 25th with the following day considered the First Day of Christmas (December 26th). In these traditions, the twelve days begin December 26 and include Epiphany on January 6.
The previous paragraph is from a web site I found that explains the Twelve days of CHRISTmas. It explains the symbology of the terms and history. This was news to me. I always thought the twelve days of CHRISTmas was a count-down towards CHRISTmas. The whole reason why I wanted to look into the twelve days of CHRISTmas was because I needed the original lyrics of the song in order to do a parody of it. Here are the original lyrics.
On the 1st day of CHRISTmas my true love gave to me…
A Partridge in a Pear TreeOn the 2nd day of CHRISTmas my true love gave to me…
Two Turtle DovesOn the 3rd day of CHRISTmas my true love gave to me…
Three French HensOn the 4th day of CHRISTmas my true love gave to me…
Four Calling BirdsOn the 5th day of CHRISTmas my true love gave to me…
Five Gold RingsOn the 6th day of CHRISTmas my true love gave to me…
Six Geese A-layingOn the 7th day of CHRISTmas my true love gave to me…
Seven Swans A-swimmingOn the 8th day of CHRISTmas my true love gave to me…
Eight Maids A-milkingOn the 9th day of CHRISTmas my true love gave to me…
Nine Ladies DancingOn the 10th day of CHRISTmas my true love gave to me…
Ten Lords A-leapingOn the 11th day of CHRISTmas my true love gave to me…
Eleven Pipers PipingOn the 12th day of CHRISTmas my true love gave to me…
Twelve Drummers Drumming
Even though I now know the truth about the twelve days of CHRISTmas, I will stick to my original idea and together we will sing my parody of the well known song. The way we will do this is I will start with an explanation of what the present day is and then I’ll present my lyrics. Some of the days are serious, some are funny and some of them are just plain weird. Today, being the first day of our count-down, I will start with a serious topic.
I cannot stand the phrase, “Happy Holidays.” I am so sick and tired of our politically correct culture that is overly concerned about offending people. That is one freedom this country does not grant; freedom from offense. CHRISTmas is about CHRIST and I absolutely refuse to apologize for it. If my wishing you a Merry CHRISTmas offends you, then move to another country. Just don’t you dare try to change the meaning of this Holy day- which is the original meaning of the word “holiday” in the first place.
This politically correct attitude is so infectious that stores and restaurants refuse to use the word CHRISTmas and will substitute it with holiday. I avoid shopping for CHRISTmas gifts at places that don’t use the word. I remember going into a place that sold CHRISTmas lights and holiday trees. WHAT?! Is there such a thing as holiday lights for holiday trees or do CHRISTmas lights work on holiday trees? Why should I spend my hard earned dollars at a place that wants my CHRISTmas money, but refuses to use the word?
I would like to encourage everyone reading this to make sure to let retailers and restaurants know where you stand on this issue. If you see the word “holiday”, ask to speak to a manager and complain. If you see “CHRISTmas,” ask to speak to a manager and THANK them! Letters and e-mails are great too.
This leads us to the first line of our twelve days of CHRISTmas parody. As you read through my new song, try to keep the melody of the original song in your head. I’ll bet some of the lines will stick there long after you want them to.
On the first day of CHRISTmas my true love said to me, “Complain about the holiday theme!”
My Letter To The IRS
Hi folks, we’re back. I’m sorry that we haven’t blogged for a whole week! We arrived home from Hawaii on Thanksgiving morning, spent time with family over the holiday weekend and finally got back into the office on Monday. There is always a period of “catch up time” after coming home from a trip.
Once we did get into the office, we had the wonderful privilege of dealing with the IRS. They sent a bill to us without any explanation of why we owed the money. I spent time talking with our CPA and the IRS to figure out what was going on. Basically, it comes down to this. We were billed for a late payment five years ago and thought we paid the amount in full. Five years later the IRS informs us that we still owed $15.37 and fives years worth of interest ($9.73). There is more, but I’ll have you read my letter to the IRS for those details.
IRS:
Enclosed is our check for $25.10 for an unpaid balance and interest. Before the check is cashed, I would ask you to consider a couple of things.
1) The penalties are from the tax period of December 31, 2002. By law you are required to inform us of any penalties every year that they are due. Since this is the first notice we have received in FIVE years, we request that the whole debt of $25.10 be cancelled. I realize that we are only required to pay the $15.37 for the original balance, but since the money wasn’t important FIVE years ago, it makes no sense why you should even attempt to collect on it now.
2) Once we received the past due tax statement, there was no explanation for why we were expected to pay this amount. We do not appreciate the notice on the back of the statement that says, “If you don’t agree with the amount shown on the statement, please call us at 1-800-829-0115, or write to us at the address listed on the payment stub. You will need to tell us why you don’t agree and you may need to send us information to support your statement.”
It is amazing that the IRS would require someone to prove why they do not owe a certain amount before the IRS proves why they expect it. Whatever happened to being innocent until proven guilty? If the IRS is going to collect money from someone, the IRS should at the very least inform the billed party as to why the amount is owed. To illustrate our point, if we sent our payment without the payment stub, you probably would have some difficulty in figuring out why you received the check. That confusion compounds when you receive a bill instead.
If the IRS decides to do the honorable thing, we would appreciate it if the check and debt were cancelled.
Sincerely,
Keith WalkerEvidence Ministries
P.S. The IRS owes us $7,453,784.65. If you do not agree with this amount, please
write to us. You may need to send us information to support your statement.
Merry CHRISTmas.
Hawaii-5, 2007
We are leaving today, but i wanted to post one more time before we leave. We’ve still yet to pack and try to fit all the gifts we bought at the swapmeet into our luggage. We brought one extra suitcase knowing that we were going to bring home WAY more stuff than we brought.
Here is a picture of the Poulos family with whom we stayed. This was taken at a food court in the Pearl City Mall. We wanted to thank them for letting us stay in their home with them by taking them out to dinner. We had something a little bit more extravagant in mind, but since the kids all seemed to want something different to eat, we ended up at the food court. Our dinner menu ranged from Chinese to pizza to tacos.
Steve and Lisa Poulos knew Becky when she lived here. She was saved and then started attending Pacific Islands Bible Church where she joined the Poulos college and career group and was discipled by Lisa. The last time we were here (10 years ago) they had onlly three children, the youngest of whom was merely months old. Now they’ve got four kids and we enjoyed hanging out and playing with all of them.
Thank you Poulos family for putting us up and for putting up with us!
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