Watchtower Responsible For Santa’s Heart Attack

With a heavy heart we bring you this sad news today. The beloved CHRISTmas icon of millions has suddenly and unexpectedly passed away early today, one day after CHRISTmas, 2007.

Santa Claus, born Kris Kringle, was known through out the world as a kind, gentle man whose generosity was unparalleled. Every year on the Eve of CHRISTmas Santa Claus would travel around the world delivering toys and other goodies to good little boys and girls. These toys were made throughout the year with the help of a band of elves. Once the toys were finished, they were loaded onto Santa’s sleigh which was powered by nine reindeer, the first of which has a red nose to help light the way in inclement weather. All of the toys were miraculously delivered in a single night.

Even though Claus was advanced in age, he was in extremely good health, able to climb chimneys (from the inside) and keep up with the rigors of his job with no trouble at all. That is why his passing this morning is so shocking. Claus was resting comfortably in his living room after his long CHRISTmas day and the previous night’s work when he suddenly gasped and fell over.

He is survived by Mrs. Claus, nine reindeer and an unknown number of elves. This picture was taken shortly before his death.